Feelings

I lie on my back next to the trickling brook. The sun is overhead, trying to peek through the leaves of the forest. The blanket of leaves on the floor gives me the impression of a soft bed. The forest sounds surround me. There has been a lot of afternoons like this.

One in particular stands out in my mind today. I look back with a wistful smile.

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We were in the middle of the stream, sitting side by side on a boulder. Our legs hanging off and trailing in the stream, swinging our legs occasionally. He is telling me a story, making elaborate gestures to emphasize his points. I don't really hear him. I just gaze at him while he lets me know, in his own funny version, what happens next. He is so absorped in his telling that he doesn't notice me watching him. He never does. Boys are like that.

We grow up. Sometimes when we bump into each other on the streets, I would smile at him. He would smile back. A quick hello and catching up and we are off on our separate paths. I often wonder what it would be like if we were to stay together. If we did not grow up. If all we have are afternoons sitting on boulders in the middle of streams.

Pretty Me

"I think this should look good on you", smiles mommy. She is holding up a green dress. My favorite color, I noticed. It's got laces on the sleeves. The hem seems to run till just below my knees. It's got pretty flower designs on it.

"I like it, mommy", I said with a smile. "Thanks."

"You're a big girl now, Leinorra. This is the least I can do. I'm sure you can do just as good."

"No, mom. You're still the best. How can I even compare to you?", I protested.

She gave a slight wave of her hand to dismiss my comment. "In fact, you are good in other things that I will never be. I'm proud of you, Leinorra."

I gave a slight blush. "That's because you and daddy sent me to the best possible mentor anyone can ever have."

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The dress is in preparation for my coming of age ceremony. Mommy has toiled over it for a long time. It looks perfect.

I am taller than most girls. But that's probably because I'm skinnier than most. With a lanky stature, I am not too much of a looker for the boys, I must say. Which suits me just fine. I'm not overly fond of them either. They either pull other girls' pig tails or call them horrible names. They pretty much just leave me alone, though. If they even try anything, I just give them a vehement stare. I like to see them squirm though in all honesty, I'd never dream of hurting any of them.

A Wonderful World?

What is out there, really? As I stand here and look out across the plains, the horizons doesn't give me much of an answer.

My morning hike among the hills did not follow any trails, nor any predetermined course. I just walked. And whether it was subconscious or through divine intervention, I am brought to this cliff edge. Brought to this contemplation. Brought to this big jump before the world. All my training and apprenticeship has geared me towards this. And the coming of age ceremony to be held soon will be the final jump I make.

Upon making that jump, no more will I be sheltered. I will be left to fend for myself.

I hope for a wonderful world indeed over the horizon. But I carry no such illusions with me. Although how many thorns and how many roses there will be, I know not.

I guess I will need to learn for myself.

Hard Work

Living out here is not easy. You only have two options, really. Either let someone take care of you or you take care of yourself.

Mom and dad didn't put me through this apprenticeship to have someone look after me. And I sure wouldn't want that to happen either.

But to look after myself, I need to put myself through the steps. To make sure that every offensive strike can be countered by the appropriate defense. And hopefully reciprocated with the correct offensive response.

I was taught that to every action, there is a reaction and wise are those who followed up that reaction with an opportunity to strike back.

So here I am, going through the moves again. Making sure they come out reactionary, without hesitance.

Yes, practicing my staff moves is hard work indeed.

Beginnings Abound

I am Leinorra Kasdan.

My friends - the few ones that I have - look for me sometimes to join them in their games. While I don't find their games distasteful, I feel they are somewhat... lacking. This girl longs for more rather than just throwing rings at a stick sticking out of the ground.

I always enjoy a stroll in the woods. I like the fresh green smells, the light rustling of the leaves, the incessant chirps of the birds, the trickling of the brook. There are moments of peace that I like to treasure.

My coming of age will be soon. I look with anticipation to what life will offer me. But judging from the older men's tales of premonition, perhaps I should look with apprehension on what life will offer me.

Perhaps we will see what fate will bring Leinorra Kasdan.